nawal and ABDLRAHMAN (2)

I told my family and her family they are very happy . I reach the capital city after the sun site I call Nawal from the telephone from the reception on the hospital 2 know her room . her brother go down stare 2 me and take me 2 Nawal
Did you see Noura (Nawal said )
No I come 2 you first (I said)
This afternoon I saw Nouora with Nawal she is very small (Nawal's brother said )
What about you ? are you okay did you find difficulty during delivery ?( I said )
Thank God I forget every thing when I saw Noura …go see you daughter and read some if Quran on her (Nawal said)
Yes I will go now (I said)
I go out said but I saw some thing in Nawal's eyes , she try 2 hide some thing but I know my sweetheart I can read what she feel from her beautiful eyes . I went 2 nursery for the children who borne early I show the nurse my ID. She told me okay your child NO. 16 . she is very small baby they bout a tube 2 her nose 4 nutrition .i start 2 took 2 Noura and said ;-

Your father,, Noura not attend your birth…. even he not get a news about it
The work and the my condition chain from iron…… and bad luck with thorns on my rood
You mother's illness excruciate me to much …the fire in my heart increase
Why do you not told me to cry 2 gather ,,you from birth and me from yearning .
My heart break parts on this day … your birthday when I from you a way

I come back 2 Nawal's room she put make up on her face and prepare her hair I swear he no need markup and her hair not need prepare . I hug her so much cuz her brother not in the room
One breast I have are u satisfy (Nawal said )
Now become your heart near me more than before (I said)
She smile and said we will see
You will be okay ….this is time I approve 2 you … I love you more than you love me ( I said)
But I do not see you happy is any thing you want tell me (I said )
Not now this night our night come near me (Nawal said)
Suddenly her brother enter the room and said ( they will come after 30 minutes 2 give you the chemotherapy the doctor said we must make it fast .
Okay you can go 2 your family this night I will be with Nawal I will take care (I said)
Thank you I will go by the bus (her brother said)
When her brother go out Nawal said ( is the chemotherapy painful how can take it )
My love you most take it I which I take it instead if you ( I said )
NO do not say that (Nawal said )
You are strong more than I thought you pass difficult situation than this I will be with you and Noura too( I said )
When they come the nurse with system for chemotherapy . I hug Nawal while they inject the chemical in her body .
Okay do not look,,, how do you feel (I said )
Not much my love do not be worry (Nawal)
When they finch the nurse said ( you did not feel pain )
No not that much (Nawal said)
My be his hug work let you not feel the pain (nurse said) I smile with Nawal and the nurse too
The gave us information about the side effect 4 chemotherapy .
My hair will falling down axm (Nawal said)
I love you (I said)
My skin will change 2 dark how can you stay with me (Nawal)
I love you I do not love your body only ,,,,why you say that also the said effect will be temporary… your hair will be more softer than now and your skin 2 ( I said)
I hug Nsawal ….the door open . what happen ? (Nawal's brother )
Nawal take the chemical she is okay ,,,you did not go 2 your family ?
I miss the bus I will sleep with you .
Okay I will go and take room in any hotel near by ( I said)
No will stay three 2 gather it is one night (Nawal said)
In down I wake up and come near Nawal and say (I will go now 2 our town for the work I will come back next week )
Okay Allah(God) with you I will call you(Nawal said)
When I leave the hospital I hear some body call me (axm axm ) wait . he is Nawal's brother
What happen why you flow me (I said)
I must tell you some thing Nawal not want 2 tell you…. but you must know (N ;s Brother saod)
What I must know??? ( I said )
The doctors have doubt the cancer transfer 2 her liver ..YOU MUST KNOW SORRY ( N's brother said)

v-p-7
I take the bus 2 my city and her brother shock me ,,cancer in her liver no,, no he said the doctors have a doubt it can't be ( I talk 2 my self ) then I start pray 2 my God while the bus moving ( my God I know this is the exam from You 2 me ,,,I know this life a big examination 4 us 2 know who is the good and who is the bad who deserve Your paradise and who deserve You hellfire but Your exam 2 me very painful Nawal is most value 2 me. I know you are the most merciful after this hard time there are peace and mercy…. I will be patient and pass your exam so God help me

After 3 day Nawal call me and said they will release her but Noura not cuz she most stay more days .
Okay come and next week I will go with you 2 take her and take the 2nd round chemotherapy 2 you ( I said )
You see that ….I will come with my brother tomorrow (Nawal said)

Next day at night my and her family come 2 gather 2 my house to saw Nawal . so many women and men of course as you know they are separate so could not saw her until they finished and go out .
At last I meet you now ( I said )
But my heart there with Noura (Nawal said )
Yah I understand but it is good 4 her 2 stay until grow up and live with us why you do not call the hospital and ask the nurse about her ( I said)
Nawal call the nursery in the hospital and they told her Noura is okay after that we go 2 sleep it was a big day 4 her . I wake up from my sleep cuz I hear some body crying .

What happen !! Nawal wake up you have dream NAWAL,,,,NAWAL ( I said )
She wake up and I see a tear on her cheeks and she said ( axm I saw your wife )
My wife ????you are my wife (I said )
No ,,no the 2nd wife (Nawal said)
I do not get you !! what ?( I said)
I so her in my dream ( Nawal said )
I smile and said ( in your dream )
No it is like real I was in big hall with so many women… it is like wedding and some body introduce her 2 me and said ( she is axm's wife ) she has white skin dark hair , she taller than me , she did not smile I ran way crying until you wake me up (Nawal said )
It is nightmare not dream from devil 2 make you sad read some Quran remember Allah and sleep ( I said)
Next day when I came from my work I try to look around to find Nawal I do not see her then I fond her in bedroom cleaning .
Why doing this I most relax I will clean bedroom ( I said )
I prepare the room for your next wife (Nawal)
Not fany do not make me sad ( I said)
You know I will not love or marry anther woman only you even you die I can not see only you (I said)
Thank you Nawal said)
How can live without you only me and little girl… you are the fundamental for our hose ( I said)
Look to me…. you are not any father you can handle your life ( I said )

On the week end me and Nawal took airplane to the capacity to make the trip easy for her .she go directly 2 the nursery to see Noura then take 3ad round for chemotherapy , they release Noura . we went to hotel me , Nawal and Noura . I feel happy when we to gather ..Noura grow fast she smile to me when I but my face near her face I start play with her .

Did you got what you want…. beautiful girl and you will forgot the mother (Nawal said )
One nail from you more value than her .

8:39pm May 4th

nawal and ABDLRAHMAN (2)

Our life after the wedding like sweet dream we went 2 Egypt 4 honeymoon our small family have fundamental of success .LOVE I think the love between me and Nawal it is enough fore the world . money is more the enough cuz I was promoted in my work also Nawal work as teacher . we transfer 2 different city cuz my job become there near sea .i become sorry not build my future good 2 make Nawal proud if me also I believe she deserve better than me . I let some bad habit 2 be more nice more sweet 2 every body .


Also we become close 2 Allah (God) cuz we believe He is Who mad our destiny 2 meet each other in the end. more close 2 the Islam instruction . we try help the boor people 2 make every body happy like us as son as we can . cuz we win in the end my be we hurt some body when we fight 4 our love like her brother and my mother .Nawal and I become more warmhearted 2 them until my mother love her more than my sis .also her brother and me become friends I coordinate with my sweetheart 2 contraception 2 years cuz we do not want 2 be busy with baby and have full time 2 love only

One day I came 2 our house from the work I did not fond Nawal still in school but I fond from woman's doctor stack on the marrow the doctor wrote in it the result of the examination positive ( wow Nawal pregnant we will have a baby ) when Nawal came from her school she said ( I want 2 surprise you I do not tell you until I become shore from the doctor ,are you angry cuz we have a deal 2 have baby after 2 years ) No I love 2 have a baby from you only you ( I said ) I am afraid 2 be jealous from the baby (she said ) no body love you like me but I am not that bad 2 be jealous from my baby (I said )

After 4 month one night I was on the bad with Nawal and the light off she hold my hand by her sweet hand,, I thought she will show me the movement of the baby but she but my hand on her left breast ( did you feel it ) she said ( what , what thing I feel it?? )

( the tumor on my breast )

I told Nawal do not wary my be it is related 2 the pregnancy . not every tumor is dangerous tomorrow will go 2 the doctor every thing will be okay .
. do not tell any body about it this between me n you (Nawal said )
we want 2 the hospital the doctor saw the tumor and she said ( I can’t say anything you most go 2 the special hospital 4 this kind of disease and I advise u 2 make the examination as son as you can.. when we want 2 the special hospital we fond the parson who will make the examination man not woman
there is no female doctor 2 make the examination ?( I said 2 the man who work in the reception )
no in this specializes we have only men ( he said)
what… we are in Islamic country why do not hire men n women in this job (I said with anger )
I will not let man see my breast and chest ( Nawal said 2 me )
I am with you I prefer 2 die than some body touch ur breast but Islamic instruction clear in this situation it is allow in necessary cases like this )


her chest and breasts no body saw them only me even the sun and the moon the doctor touch them and spread them and but them in examination device,,, the blood go 2my head ( I which be her doctor and no one see her chest ) said that in my self of course and I fond my tears on my cheek fuling . also they tack sample from her breast . they give us appointment next week 2 know the result. We do not told no body even my and her parent and our life go normal without talk about it . next week we went 2 the hospital 2 know the result we stay on the doctor's office the doctor come 2 the office and say ( how your English
Good why (I said )
Did your wife know English (D said)
No (I said )
Okay the result say your wife has 80 % breast cancer and 20 % not.. I advice you. .she most make surgery 2 remove the left breast immediately 2 safe her life (D said that by English )
I feel unconscious and I can not see only dark I will lose my consciousness I leave the doctor office go out side leave Nawal with the doctor on the office alone . I lie on the garden out side the hospital 2 make blood go 2 my head try do not lose my consciousness .

I took some fresh air and control my balance I came back 2 the doctor's office I fond Nawal alone without the doctor .
Where is the doctor ?( I said)
He go ..but where are u go ? u leave me with the doctor alone Mr karate and what he told you by English ? (nawal said )
No thing not that important (I said )
Not important !!!! he told me every thing about the cancer by Arabic also the doctor said you are weak and I should take car of your husband (nawal said )

Yah I am always the bad guy she stronger than me cuz she close 2 the Allah (God ) that help her 2 control her self more than me . we drive a way 2 our house . I hold her hand and I can not control my tears coming from my eyes .

She look 2 my eyes and said (Allah (God ) said in His book (Quran) ):-
And surely We shall try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and crops; but give glad tidings to the steadfast, (155) Who say, when a misfortune striketh them: Lo! we are Allah's and lo! unto Him we are returning. (156) Such are they on whom are blessings from their Lord, and mercy. Such are the rightly guided.
Also if I die now I will not be sorry cuz I got the most beautiful part in my life our love

I smile and said ( u can not ran a way from me and my child you will stay in this life until you see ur grand children )

But we face the most important problem THE CHILD. the doctor want 2make abortion surgery 4 the baby and remove the left breast and give her chemotherapy . Nawal said ( I will not kill my baby 2 live )
You are the most important than the child my fear 2 loss you but the child we could have another in future ( I said )
No the child is our love fruit and his movement tall me( I am life mam do not kill me ) Nawal said
Okay I will talk 2 the holly man and know Islamic instruction about this situation and u must flow it ( I said )

When I talk 2 the holly man by Ph. he said (abortion is forbidden in Islam only if the baby cause dangers 2 the mother or the baby came deformed (not normal) Islam allow the abortion .

No I will not kill my baby it is not matter Islam allow or not my baby have right 2 live (Nawal said)
The doctor give us solution and said ( we will make the surgery without kill baby if he live while making the surgery it is good if he die or full down this is his destiny .

I brought Nawal 2 the hospital at night on the morning next day she will make the surgery .
You will leave me her and go ?(Nawal said )
My heart with you I know your heart with me you will be okay and the baby 2 (I said )
You will stay alone in the house who will make your food ? go 2 ur family (Nawal said )
Do not worry about me ……I will came tomorrow 2 see you .

I can not sleep that night I pray 2 Allah most the time ( my God help me 2 pass this problem let Nawal come back safe 2 in light my life she is my love I can not live without her ) early morning I went 2 the hospital,, they do not allow me 2 enter cuz the visitor's time not came yet, I stop my car in the barking while I wait4 the time in the car I have a nap I saw a dream I see my self with Nawal in the car I drive in small street.
Stop you will kill them ( Nawal said )
What !!!!I do not see any thing (I said)
The bird the small bird (Nawal said )
I stop the car and get out from the car I saw near the wheel small bird do not has feather he stand on his mother and the mother is died . I took the small bird with me 2 the car and show him 2 the Nawal then I wake up from my sleep I found my self in the car I review the dream in my mind and said what it is mean these dream ???
They shocked when I told Nawal's family and also my family when they know what happen 2 us and they decide come 2 see Nawal one the evening .
When the time 4 visitor come I went t direct t 2 Nawal room I saw her sleep and she is vary beautiful ( my love are u okay ) I said but she is not comply I think she still under anesthetic . I went 2 the doctor in his room .
Is nawal okay (I said )
Yes the baby 2 still in his place (D said )
What about the tumor and the breast ?(I said )
We remove them and send sample of them2 the lab 2 be sure .(D said )
When Nawal awake from anesthetic I told her what doctor said 2 me
Are you okay (I said )
I feel pain (Nawal said )
That normal after anesthetic gone what about the baby ?( I said)
He moving now my he said hey dad (Nawal said)

In the evening my and her family come 2 the hospital 2 see Nawal they are admonition us and said why do not share with us what happen 2 you we are not stranger . I let Nawal with them 2 explain and go 2 my house 4 sleep .
The doctor made a meeting with me and Nawal after 3 days from the surgery and said ( Nawal you are still in dangers cuz we must have chemotherapy and ray 2 stop the cancer from sprawl 2 anther parts in your body)

If the chemotherapy and ray harm 2 the baby I will not take it ( Nawal said )
The doctor look 2 me and said ( you will loss your wife )
Is the baby will kill if she take the chemotherapy (I said )
I can not say… my be kill or deform I do not know(D said )
Okay can I Stay with my wife alone p;s doctor ( I said)

When we become alone ( Nawal I can not loss you how can I live without you,,,, the time not with us ,, you are more important 2 me than the baby ) I said
We are the one team you , me and your child I will not forgive my self if I kill him I think you too (Nawal said )
Yes but you not get it my be u will dea you are the main in our life ( I said)
No body know when he dai if it is my day I will go with or without kill my baby (Nawal) said
When I explain our decision 2 the doctor ,,he cry and said my mother I love you ,,your wife very great women but you most sign some paper 2 be your responsibility

after 3 month the baby has 7 month Nawal look like weak I do not know it is from pregnancy or from the cancer also we have weekly appointment with doctor 2 follow her case . one night Nawal's father and borther came 2 our house .
I am worry about Nawal I can not stay without do some thing (Nawal brother )
What can I do she do not want take the chemotherapy cuz the baby ( I said )
We know you love her so much and you do the best (Nawa's father)
But I know some important men can find away 2 enter her special hospital 4 vip paple in the capital city 2 find solution 4 her (Nawal 's brother)
Capital city it far away from our city and I do not have any days off from my work I took all of them (I said)
I know I will take Nawal by my self I will take vacation from my work …if you do not mind (Nawal's brother )

I look 2 the Nawal's eyes 2 find the answer I can not see it

If Nawal want that I do not have any objection ( I said )
If you both see that okay 4 me (Nawal)

I feel sad I do not know it is good 2 my sweetheart bur I want me 2 do that not her brother .early morning her brother came take her bag .
I will call you (Nawal said)
Do not wary about me take care Allah with you (I said )
She enter the car with her brother and disappear and I write poem in the same moment

Do you know which the most painful 2 my …I am not with you when you go
The stranger took you without you say any thing …cuz he is your brother
You rid his car like the prison …without do any thing the rood swallow you
He hijack you from my house and take a way .

The first day gone without get any call next day I call telephone company 2 find hospital Ph.no. . the resection gave me the telephone no 4 the Naw2a's room
Allow (I said )
Yes (Nawal'Brother said )
I am axm how about Nawal is she okay (I said)
Yes she is fine( N.B.said)
Can speak 2 her ( I said )
Now no she is in the bathroom ( N>B> said)
Tell her I call (I said )
After 30 minutes I call one more time but I fond the same thing , she with a doctor , will call you later …. I feel he want 2 be barrier between me and Nawal but why she not call me she know my telephone . no. my be she angry cuz I do not went with her but she no my condition . in the night my telephone . Ringing
Are you okay I am Nawal (she said)
I am fine what about you and the baby ? why do not call me? is every thing ok? (I said )
Me and baby are okay,, baye now ,,,(Nawal said)
Her voice vary weak not talk much my be her brother near her but she is not Nawal which I know . next day when I was my office the Ph. Raing around 9:30 am.. I answer the Ph. Some body crying .
Hollow who is cry Nawal? ( I said )
Yes I am Nawal (she said )
WHAT HAPPEN why are you crying ?????? ( I said )
I cry cuz I am very happy I delivery early morning this morning ,,, the baby is fine (Nawal)
WHAT how?? the baby have only 7 month ??? ( I said )
Yes but they gave me special medicine 2 accelerate the delivery now they but the baby in special place but the baby fine (Nawal)
Thank you my God (Allah ) you kept my wife and my son safe (I pray 2 Allah)
Not son axm (Nawal said )
What not SON??(I said )
Yes she is your daughter …..she is a girl (Nawal said)
WOW my daughter I have a daughter my sweetheart( I said )
But do not forget the mother (Nawal said)
No I love you I wish I have wings 2 flay 2 you but I will come this night by bus by the way do you have name 4 the baby (I said )
Yes NOURA the same name 4 your mother ( nawal said)

NOURA and NAWAL ……I LOVE YOU ^_^ THE MAM TOO

p-6
One day I go 2 mam and I told her I want
marry Nawa … she shout ( you do not have dignity they not accept u how u ask them one more time u know the answer .
Mam I want her …only nawal even they reject me 100 time I will ask and ask …. mam said( okay but I can not talk 2 your dad also do not make me part of this subject )
I want 2 dad's room and say
Dad I want marry
Which girl you want
The same girl
Same girl ?
Yes Nawal
NAWAL
My dad smile and said (how can I help)
Send a letter 2 her father ask him again – I said
When Nawal's father receive the letter he think my be Nawal gave me a green light by talk 2 me and give me the support 2 ask again and my be he is not faire 2 his daughter and why Nawal hold every thing …the family his responsibly not Nawa ..but when he discuss the subject with his oldest son .her bother
Said ( Nawal deserve batter than this guy write sweet letter 2 his father but do not accept his son.
Nawal said 2 my sis ( my dad reaper the replay,,,when he sleep I read the letter I know ''THEY DO NOT ACCEPT AXM ON MORE TIME '' I return the letter in his pocket .when my bab wake up and HE want 2 go 2 send letter I stop him face 2 face and without talk I but my hand in his pocket ..take the letter and shred it and through it in the air go 2 my room crying )
this situation gave Nawal's dad the reality she want me she love me saying ( this my future this is my life do not be a Barrier between me and axm )without say one word

Nawal's father get the massage clearly ,without go 2 his son he go direct 2 may father said 2 him mouth 2 mouth I accept axm 2be a haspon 2 my sweet daughter but there are 2 condition 1- the a wedding next years 2- axm take apartment 4 Nawal 2 live not in your housed .
My dad made a meeting 2 tall me and my mother . my mam said( why are they want 2 take my sweetheart from me we have big house …what our family says about us )
Introduction
in my society the guys when they marry must stay in there families house until they will be strong and build a new house then go and live alone with his wife .
and it take 10 years or more .
My dad said ( what about you axm?)
You first dad ) I said
Axm go be happy start your new life with ur baby be responsible 4 house ,wife and new life ( ada said )

I am grateful 2 my dad he help me allot I think he taste the love before he knows mam ^_^
On beautiful afternoon I want with my sis to the market in down town 2 bay some gifts 4 nawal like bracelet from diamonds , necklace from pears , dress from silk , high quality chocolate and bag 2 but the gifts in it .because this night I will go with my family 2 visit her family ^_^ also 2 see Nawal in focus by mam and sis the same 4 Nawal'dad 2 see me in focus .but do imagine that Kasia I will go this night 2 the Nawal's house yayyayyyayayayayayayayay . wish me luck ^_^

p-8
At the 8;30 pm we went 2 Nawal's house me , my father ,mother , my sis , my uncle and aunt by my care of course we wir the past we have .also the gifts. .Nawal's house vary big and beautiful of course the ladies go 2 the special hall 4 them and me , my uncle and my father go 2 the hall 4 men . I hug my enemies in the past Nawal's father also her brother and all her relative . we eat and drank the juice the food was very good. at 10:00 pm go back from Nawal's house I drive the car very fast with anger .( what this you want 2 kill us ,,,, why you are angry ) my dad said ( she is very beautiful I think she is the beast wife 4 you ) my aunt said ( frankly she is sweet girl …what ?) my mam said ( what ..what and why you angry ?)my sis said
Hey I saw this night her father , brothers, all her relative BUT I DID NOT SEE NAWAL NOT HEAR HER VOICE (I said )

You know the roll remember you can not marry her only after one year ( my mam said )
My sis but some thing in my hand and whisper 2me in my ear ( this is Ph no. 4 nawal call her after 11:00 this night )

WaaaaaW I will hear her voice my dream girl Nawal , yes Nawal that girl inside my heart always with me inside my skin I call her name in the dark night when I was sad and when I was happy ,and when I have fever I hear her voice with wind during the dawn . this night I will hear her voice real not imagination.
Naow it is 11P00 pm sharp
I take the Ph. 2 my room the light was off dial her ph no. the Ph rang . rang and rang
Helow who are you ( small child said)
I am axm
What do want ?
Nawal
Nawal okay ( and gone )
؟؟؟اhelow
Nawal (I said)
Yes who are you?
I am axm how are you?
Fine… you ?
I am happy Did you like the gifts
They are beautiful why u bother your self ..do you want any thing ?
M mmm no nothing but can I call you every day the same time
It is okay baye
Baye
It is official voice , firm ,diplomatic but not sweet but my be this is the different between real and imagination . next day she was so sweet told me every thing about her …she said ( I know every thing about you by ur sis I like ur opinions , ur way in this life…and she cry and said ( I am afraid from my brother 2 brake the engagement it easy 4 him 2do cuze you are my Fiancée not husband )

p-8
Every night from 11 pm until 2;00pm I talk 2 Nawal after one week she sent 5 pic 4 her 2 me by her brother …she was very beautiful but we still afraid from her family 2 change there mind cuz I am her fiancée .. thank God He help me because my pors he told me I must go 2 USA California LA for special training …the scholarship take about 11 month . I told Nawal ( you will go a way from me 11 month after we be come clocer I can not live without you ) Nawal said . but this is our excuse 2 marry now and go 2 America ) I said
I told my family I have one week 2 marry Nawal and go 2 USA but Nawal's father refuse the idea and he said ( we will wait 4 you until you finch then u can marry her cuze we are big family and we must prepare every thing 4 that Nawal she is the beast daughter 2 me I must make big wedding 4 her . okay I understand but lest write the book by holy man 2 become wife and husband that make me fine while I am in USA (I said )

I desaid 2 cancel the scholarship but my sis said ( go you will get promotion from ur company ,ur salary will in increase , Nawal will wait 4 you and when she become ur wife no body can change that only you or her also will you become big between her relative Nawal will be proud of you ) mmmm last sentences I like it (I WILL GO)

One night not forgettable in my life never. I want with my father ,uncle ,Nawal's father ,her uncle 2 the holy man in his house 2write the marriage certificate the witness my and her uncles also I sign as husband and some body I thing her brother take the certificate 2 Nawal 2 sigh 2 as bride .

I kiss the head of my dad also Nawal's father head ( you can come after one hour 2 my house 2 see Nawal now she is your wife ) Nawal's father said .

After one hour exactly I was in the living room with Nawal's father watching the TV waiting 4 Nawal 2 see her ..i wait .wait .no one come .suddenly I saw some body push Nawal 2 enter the room I think she is very shy make her aunt 2 do that …..Nawal standup with tray of tee one tub and 3 cups . sweet smile on her face set don near me ( this is Nawal your wife make she happy she is my sweetheart ) Nawal'father said WWWWW she is very beautiful in but her eyes and hair the most ,her eyes big vary black and very white ,her hair long very dark shining ,, her lips ,cheek hands very thing is beautiful or I see it beautiful .

When Nawal's father go out from the room I do not why? I hold her hand saying (how are you) she smile I try 2 kiss her lips she gave me every thing I enter different world sweet, pink and chining I can not describe this world by word …… but I wake up from this world 2 see Nawal'father standing over our head


( what you do ? I know you are lover but be wise ) Nawal'father

I get out from nawal's house and her body smell and her perfume in my nose sit in my car thinking

Awaaw now I see the point of nawal' brother she deserve man better than me ..my be I am selfish guy
I must digging my future in the rocks by my nails 2 make nawal happy
I must protect her by my life ..so God help me

p-10
the plain will take off 12:00 pm 2 NY I reach the airport 11:15 I call Nawal by airport's ph. her voice very weak and far I think she is crying .
I call my family ( be careful try 2 come back safe) dad said
(call me when you reach USA ) mam said

( be careful do not forget Nawal ) sis said
(ww what are you saying how can I forget Nawal ?)I said

( it is open country there are beautiful girls and your alone ) sis said
(you know me my sweet sis) I said
( this is the problem I know you )sis said
America familiar 2 me ,,when I was child I have comic books like superman ,bat man ,flash and Tarzan also Tv and movies . English I can understand it the trip take 17 hours flying I reach my apartment and start study in the university after 7 days

LOVE it is very easy u can find it any where on the streets , night club and without roll my neighbor black girl with white guy live 2 gather without marry certificate and my be will have children before marry


I study in the university from 8 am 2 11 am in the afternoon I go 2 the field 2 practice

I call Nawal every Saturday also my family , she send hot letters now her time 2 worry but me I have confidence and comfortable days she now my wife no body take her from me

I love three thing in USA sky ,sun and moon cuz Nawal can see them with me , I miss the sand cuz in California every thing green .

after 4 month some friends in university told me there is 15 days off , I ask why ? they told me those day is holly days for Christian , Christmas the birth of Jesus (puh) and new year
( how can stay in USA 15 days doing nothing) I said
( it is our chance 2 take tour 2 see the most important states in America ) one of my friend said
( no I will go back to me country 2 see my family) I said
( are u mad it 2 expensive long trip and short day only 15 days ) my friends said
( I will go 2 see my family ) I said and Nawal * I said that between me and my self *
I call my boss in the company I told him there is no work ,study 15 days cuz the holly day I will go back 2 my country
(GO BACK WHY??? IT IS ONLY 15 DAYS I can not help you ) my boss said
(okay I will go by my account ) I said
But next day my boss tell me next day I will find ticket in the airport 2 go back 2 my country .of course I told Nawal and me family .after 17 hours I reach my country I saw in the airport hall my mother ,father ,sis wait 4 me . the distant between my house and the airport 120 km

I was raining when reach my town it was very beautiful that night it is very sweet I spend all the night talk with Nawal by the Ph until the sun rise .

Next day at night I went with Nawal 2 nice restaurant together and we try see our future but the most fundamental for it
But the happy days go fast and I most go back 2 usa 4 complete my training…it very hard 2 me and Nawal like when you pull out the soul from the body or child from mam

I flinched my training I start 2 go back 2 my country I like the American society cuz they are most of them friendly for stranger and when I was in there country I do not feel un estrange I mad friends from them in university also karate club when I was practice in it . when I comeback 2 my country I rent apartment and I bought with Nawal every thing 2 make it sweet lovely house . we made the wedding in big hotel of course there are 2 hall one 4 women anther 4 men after I stay with men then I go2 the special room 4 bride take Nawal with me 2 the women hall . I sat with Nawal on the stage between the women my sis dance with some girls in front me . Nawal was very beautiful in wedding dress . after half hours I take Nawal 2 my car 4 going 2 our apartment in the car I hold her hand and i said where you want 2 go .she said any where just drive …. I switch on the tape recorder the song say;-

How many from my age go waist and nothing before I saw you
My heart did not see before .you one moment happiness
I did not taste in this life only the taste of wounds
I began this time only…… I love my age
I start this time afraid …..my age go fast
Every happiness in my imagination I want… I see it now in your eyes
Every thing I saw before my eyes saw you …..nothing …how they counted from my age
You are sweeter than my dream
You are valuablre than my days
Take my by your love take me
Take my from the availability take me
Far ..far only you and me
On love our days rise
On love our night sleep

p-4
My sis told Nawal the news my father will sent letter 2 her father ask his daughter nawal 2 be came a wife 4 me . Nawal said ( I do not know I see so many letters in my father's office asking the same subject but my father not told me and when I compare the guys with ur brother I admire his opinion and his principle and when I pray 2 my God 2 help me 2 chose…. when I mention ur brother nam;s I see my eyes full off tears !!! I said 2 my self w.w hat happen why????.
But after weak they replay 2 me father …they do not want me 2 be a husband 4 there daughter …..my mam said ( do not be sad I will find the most beautiful girl 2 be ur wife) .. but I see every things sad like me the moon ,stars trees , the worker whom woke with me in dad farm…..and I feel my heart bleed and their is no way 2 be normal one more time , also I blame my self yes I am bad I only flinched my high school … work with the labor waste my time 4 drawing and write poem .my be if I am a doctor or engineer my be they accept me… yes …yes she is better than me .

nawal and ABDLRAHMAN

p-3
I told my mam very thing also my plan 4 near future .

My mam look 2 my eyes and said ( my baby you are still yang ,you do not have job only some time u work in ur dad farm …. I know this girl she is good but we have many beautiful girls in our family chose any one I will happy 2 help u …why u ignorer our girls and follow the stranger )

I feel my eyes full of tears and said ( mam I told you my plans and if you do not help me and tell my father 2 send massage 2 her father ask him Nawal 2 be my wife I will go alone without u or my father (by the way her name is Nawal)

No no you are crazy you will bring the shame 2 our family …gave me some time and I will tell your father ---mam said
Introduction;-

Nawal's father love his daughter so much spicily when his wife(Nawal's mother) died .she is not the oldest girl but she take care 4 every thing in her house , her father , small children ,also she is work as teacher in girls school (we have separate school 4 girl and boys from elementary 2 university ) the families ask Nawal' father 4 there sons 4 marriage but Nawal's father said 2 them she do not want 2 marry now…..in my opinion he want her 2 help him raising the children

You are flower no one snuffed it ..i find you in my way
You are pearl no one touch it in that ocean
I want you to be my sun 2 remove all my darkness
Come cure my wounds do not increase my fire
My way full of spines my days full of sadness
Com on waking with me on the rood to happy life
Love in it fundamental , Happiness and chastity

Next morning I go direct 2 my sis and told her ( she v sweet gave her all my paints 2 see also all my poems …told her I love her can she talk with me by ph. I am cereous if she want me 2 go her family asking 2 marry her I will )

ARE YOU CRAZY ….my sis said ..i said WAY ?????
My sis said :-
She is admire u there is different between love and admire
Her mother died last year and her father want her 2 take care her small sis and brothers
She well educate more than you
Her big brother want her 2 marry his best friend the pharmacy man
You are bad ,bad, bad guy u my brother I know u very well …… she is my best friend I know her so much she is good ,good , good girl

Thank you my sis any way show her my work or any thing she want ……….i know who can help me my Mam not you

nawal and ABDLRAHMAN

Of course I am in love with beautiful girl but I must give u an introduction about my society. In my society you can not see a girl as guy only if she is your mother ,sister ,daughter , wife or small girl not more than 14 years old

My sister told me one day there a girl love your drawing and your poem and she want 2 read and see my work . I told my sis (can I meet her to explain my work ) sis said U KNOW U CAN NOT ,,,she is not like those girls who meet guys and u know her father and brother will kill you if they see u with her ..but she admires you and ur work so much and she is beautiful ,cool girl and she my ( NO forget it… meet her… see my work not more than that)Lfriend pl;s help me this is what I told my sis

On day my family have a wedding and my sis told me she will come as friend 2 my sis and I can see her from the small window at the roof ^_^ we have 2 big room one 4 the men other 4 women ….my sis said I will point 2 her when I see you from the window and do not full down and kill your self . I SAW HER dancing with the girls ,,,,sweetness, beauty ,angel.. she beyond that and I write poem 4 her immediately